Owl Us!
by SheWhoLovesSherlock
Summary: Get ready to find out what you've always wanted to know about your favorite HP characters! Leave a comment with your question, and I'll answer as many as possible! T, in case of language or questions. Come on into "Owl Us" and get to know the world of HP!
1. Introductions!

**A/N Hey guys, I'm so sorry I haven't updated my other story in FOREVER, but I'm having a serious case of writer's block, and I've been crazy busy. This is to get the creative juices flowing, and to have a little fun! No, I haven't given up on ****In Their Eyes****, I'm just starting something new. Here goes! Oh, and if I owned these characters, I'd be married to George Weasley, Harry Potter would be my best friend, I'd have a pet barn owl, , and the Quidditch supplies I got from Universal would actually WORK.**

Hi everyone! So, I've seen this a lot, and don't know if it's been done, but I'm doing it now! Here, and here only (well maybe not here only, but still) you can write letters to absolutely ANY Harry Potter character. I'll try to respond as best as possible, and will also be accepting A Very Potter Musical/A Very Potter Sequel/Potter Puppet Pals versions of the characters, just include it in your letter! I'm looking forward to your fun and creative messages to our cast of characters, so-

"Wait, who are you any way? Why am I even here?"

"Shut up, Ron, she said she'd pay us!"

"I just want to know why I'm here, ouch Fred, George!"

"Excuse our brother, he's feeling a bit strange, so-"

"I bet it's wrack-spurts." There is an awkward silence.

Any who, (it's your favorite author again everyone.) leave a comment and tell me your questions (I'll get them to our friends, don't worry.)! And don't forget the little people, even those who are barely mentioned, because it's more fun for me to make up, excuse me "find out" their personality! This is Gryffindor, my new nickname, out!

"I still don't know why we're all here, who invited Malfoy?

"Watch your mouth, you filthy blood traitor, I am not enjoying being around this muggle filth either."

"Be quiet, Malfoy, she's been perfectly lovely to us, Ron was just too busy eating Red Vines to pay any attention.

"Hey!"

"Don't talk to me, you disgusting Mud-OOF!"

(me) "Ron, get off of Malfoy, at least wait 'till he's answered the questions! George, don't hold his arms back so Fred can punch him in the gut! How your mother deals with you, honestly….Well, good bye everyone! I said OFF! Oh my Lord, is he still breathing?….."

**AN/Does misunderstood Malfoy live to answer your interrogations? Tune in next time! Or, well, you know what to do!**

**Quote of the Day**

**Me: (discussing Chicken Little) No, Dad his name was not "Big Chicken", it was Bob! Duh! What else would it be, it was Bob Cluck, I'm sure of it, I mean-**

**Sister: (using internet on her Blackberry) Guys, it says his name was Buck Cluck.**

**Me: o_O**


	2. Ron and Red Vines

_**A/N First question! Without further ado, take it away Ron!**_

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><p><em>Ron, in a very potter musical, what would happen if I took away your redvines? - PurpleRainbows<em>

Ron: -through mouthfuls of Chinese food- Wh'a me?

Me: Yes, yes you Ron. As I've told you for the past six hours so you could answer the question!

Hermione: I tried to-

Ron: OHMYGOD Hermione SHUT UP.

Hermione: -throws cat at Ron, disappears-

Ron: AHHH what the? Hermione! Holy -bleep- where'd she go?

Me: -face palms- She disapparated.

Ron: Aw, I wanna disapparate, instead I'm here answering stupid questions, I mean they're just STUPID.

Me: Shut. Up. And. Answer. The. QUESTION!

Ron: Umm. OK. Without my Redvines….well…..first of all, without Redvines, I'd be out of a job, 'cuz I'm - flashes winning smile- their poster child -holds up random bag of Redvines-. Second of all, you would probably die a slow and painful death involving dementors, Umbridge, and Hermione's hair. Or at least her damn cat.

PurpleRainbows: -steals redvines- MWAHAHAHAHA!

Ron: GET BACK HERE! AUGH!

Me: RON! Sit DOWN! PurpleRainbows, give him back his Redvines. NOW.

Harry: Wait! No! Redvine wand! -magic, everyone freezes. Harry kicks Ron where the sun don't shine, stuffs his face with Redvines and flicks PurpleRainbows, then messes my hair- Nope. You just can't get frizz like Her- Herman Monster? Whatever. The girl with the cat. I mean she is just total night tro-

Hermione: What's that?

Harry: -nearly faints- Total…totally awesome! Yeah!

Hermione: -looks distrusting, then leaves, well, stomps out grumbling "night troll"-

Harry: MAGIC! NORMAL TIME!

Ron: -keels over- !

PurpleRainbows: HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

Me: What is, HARRY! -Harry disapparates-

Ron: -looks up quickly- Even HE can disapparate? -tries to get up- Nevermind.

Me: Anyway, folks, hope that semi-answered your question, we had a little unfortunate experimental accident -coughs PURPLERAINBOWS coughs-

PurpleRainbows: HEY! It was purely for scientific purposes and to enhance the knowledge of Harry Potter fans and the so-called "obsessed" alike. I was simply trying to aid those who are curious to the short-term and, perhaps, long-term (if you are in the mind to update on Ron's condition) effects of the unexspected disappearance of Ron's Redvines. My goal was to educate, not cause "unfortunate experimental accidents".

Me: o_O

Ron: o_O

Harry: o_O

Hermione: o_O

Me and Voldemort: AHHHHHHHHHH! THE APOCALYPSE IS NYE!

Me: Wait, you don't even belong here! I, mean, shouldn't we all be, like, dead, if you're here? What, I am so confused!

Voldemort: -grins evilly, disappears-

Me: Oooookkkaayyyy. That was creepy and disturbing. Like, beyond all belief. Wish me luck! Ron, get up, you whiny little baby!

Ron: But it HURTS!

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><p><em><strong>AN Thanks so much to PurpleRainbows for the review and for letting me make this comical. She's so totally awesome, you'll all love her! Hopefully, she loves it. Until next time, I love you all, good night -insert place of residence- =) Harry Potter, Hunger Games, and Seussical forever!**_

_**Quote of the Day:**_

_**Mom: Yeah, apparently -insert name here- was upset about the Rangers losing…**_

_**Me: Are you thinking what I'm thinking?**_

_**Mom: Write "Go Capitals!" (the name of the team that beat the Rangers) on his Easter Egg?**_

_**Me: And decorate it in Rangers colors!**_

_**Mom: -high fives- Oh we are so evil!**_


	3. According to Draco

**A/N Hey guys! Another review! Woohoo! Because I'm a Ron/Hermione pair-er, but not to the extreme, I'm just going to react how I think Draco in the books would. If you'd like a more comical reaction (such as in AVPM) let me know and I'll rewrite it. Err, I mean I'll get Draco to change his attitude. Yeah, that's it. Hope you enjoy! Most sincerely, starkidhaymitch =)**

_Draco, how would you react if you ever had any romantic or lustful feelings for Hermione, or if Hermione ever revealed that she had these feelings for you? -Emily, a fellow Slytherin (PoisonFantasy)_

Draco: First of all, "Emily", I am required to "thank you" for asking me a question, no matter how utterly ridiculous-

Me: Draco? -stern look-

Draco: Fine. No matter what the question is, and whether or not the answer is what you'd like to say, it must be honest. Or at least that is what it says in my contract.

Me: DRACO! Part of the contract was not to mention the contract!

Draco: Oops.

Me: -grumbles, stalks off-

Draco: Now that the filthy muggle is gone, I suppose I have to say thank you. Does that count?

Me: -popping out of no where- NO! -disappears again as Malfoy clutches his heart-

Draco: How does she DO that? -breathes heavily- If I must. Thank you.

Me: That's better! -walks away this time-

Draco: -annoyed- Continuing from before, I appreciate that you were sorted into Slytherin House, and am proud at least be answering a fellow Slytherin's question. However, I must ask: Where did you find this "internet"? Because I have no idea what it is. Do you hold it? How big is it? The muggle said something about compoopers…anyway, to answer your question. I would never, ever, EVER have any romantic or -gags- lustful feelings for that freak of a mudblood Granger. And if that sloppy pig ever admitted feelings for me (although I wouldn't blame her) I'd throw myself off the Astronomy Tower. So the notion of a…of a…._Dramione _relationship is….well, Disgusting. And that would be putting it nicely.

Me: But don't you get it, Draco?

Draco: She keeps saying my name that filthy…-shuts up at my glare-

Me: Some people think you and Hermione were a match made in Heaven! I realize that you wouldn't actually HAVE feelings for Hermione, and so does Emily, but some people have rewritten your guys' story and made it so you did! Consider it an alternate universe!

Draco: People have taken the liberty to write stories about my life and put that…that….night troll as my love interest? Real funny. That was verbal irony, wasn't it?

Me: O_o

Draco: What?

Me: OK. Since we obviously won't get a real answer from him, I suppose Draco would probably shy away from his feelings, denying them until he couldn't stand it any more, ending up "snogging" Hermione 'till there's no tomorrow. At least, that's what I imagine, I mean, I can only guess. Bottling up those feelings for so long results in dramatic endings, for example: Mr. Malfoy (NOT Lucius) and Hermione totally making out.

Draco: Err…

Me: HE"S CONSIDERING IT! MWA HA HA HA HA!\

Draco: NO! I was NOT!

Me: =)

**A/N Ooooh, hope you liked it! It was much more humorous than I'd thought it would be…oh well! Thanks so much to Emily (Poison Fantasy) for the question! I hope I answered it well…I mean, I hope DRACO answered it well, even though I had to do the last bit myself. Erg. XD Anyway, I can't wait for more questions. Harry Potter, Hunger Games, and Seussical forever!**

**Quote of the Day**

**(while decorating Easter eggs, this will only make sense if you've seen Seussical)**

**Mom: Honey, get the phone will you?**

**Me: I can't.**

**Mom: Oh, I'm busy, go get it!**

**Me: NOOO! Wait, but, I can't abandon my egg!**

**Sister: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA**

**Me: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA**

**Dad: ….But I thought that was Hort-OH! I get it.**


	4. Big Hair, Blondies, and Elfish Behavior

**A/N Hi. Umm…this is awkward…XD Sorry for the nonexistent updates guys…UNTIL NOW! -Awesome music plays- Anywho. I'm answering a question from "Hannah Montana", no matter how much I dislike the bottle blonde and her stupid alter-ego…-grumble grumble-. But I like the actual reviewer, rather than her pen-name HEY -insert reviewers name here- HOW'S IT GOING GIRRRLLL? Anyway, I assure you neither of these stories are finished, and I'm a quarter of the way done with the next ****In Their Eyes**** chapter. Big, BIG plans ahead. And, if you're wondering why the review prior to this one is no being answered, it is for good reason, which I will try to fix…just don't ask. Without further ado, here's Draco from AVPM/AVPS! Disclaimer, Chapter 1.**

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><p><em>Draco, how does it feel to be a blonde like me? Who is clearly not wearing a wig! -Hannah Montana<em>

Draco: See, Daddy, I told I was the most popular boy in school! Besides the fact that even Harry Potter likes me, some tone-deaf muggle girl is asking me a question! And this muggle right here -points to me- even discussed her desire to go to Pigfarts!

Me: Yes, Draco, that's all very lovely, but we're on a bit of a time crunch here so -makes circling hand motions- let's wrap it up, shall we?

Draco: Oh, have to use the potty, do you? Yes, yes, I must be getting along there as well, I cannot blame your hurriedness -nods in understanding-. As to being a blonde. Well, it is a most dignified color, wouldn't you agree? Especially to have upon your head. And when it comes to people with hair such as us, what glorious locks they are! So blonde they could be white, everyone accusing us of wearing a wig or dying our follicles to such a desirable color. No, no, we say, this is our natural hair, you are permitted to bask in it's magnificence, but please do not dirty it's beauty…I remember the day I proclaimed to my Charms class, the marvelous power my hair had…they all laughed with me in celebration, just as they did the day I learned to use the potty! Don't you just love the legitimacy of our brilliant, blond, roots?

Hanna Montana: Yes…of…of course, ya'll…

Draco: -eyes shining- Do they envy your hair as well?

Hanna Montana: Well darlin', I wouldn't say envy. They do compare me to Dolly Parton a lot….

Draco: You mean there's another natural perfect blonde?

Hanna Montana: …..How 'bout a song? _You get the beesssttt of both worlds, chillin' out take it slow, then you rock out the show-_

Entire Cast: BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

Ron: HOW DOES IT FEEL TO HAVE THE SAME HAIR AS DOBY'S SON?

Hermione: Ron, don't be mean to him he's just a harmless little elf!

Harry: -coughNIGHTTROLLcough-

Me: -whistle- SHUT UP! THAT'S RIGHT, BACKSTAGE FOR ALL OF YOU! Not you Malfoy -drags him by shirt collar- Now. Hanna, I'm afraid an apology will not be issued, as you brought that on yourself. Singing in public, honestly. Please continue, Draco.

Draco: Yes, err, well, my hair is hereditary, I received it from my Pa-pa.

Lucius: How many times to I have to tell you that I am not your father! It's Doby you ridiculous little-

Me: Now Lucius, he's just in denial! Have patience!

Lucius: You sound like my mother…

Me: GOOD! Hanna, although Draco's hair is hereditary, it is the same as his mother's, not his father. He does have a few of Doby's traits, such as his height and his irrational potty fear, but his hair is quite human, not elfish. Does that answer your question?

Hanna: Yessirree, hun, it does!

Me: Well, than, that's all! Thanks for the question, my violin-playing orchestra buddy! Love yah guys! Bye!

Draco: Byyyyeee!

Me: BBBBYYYYYEEEEEEE! HA! Beat you.

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><p><strong>AN Didja like? Didja? Well, let me know! I worked hard to find some nice, big vocabulary words…oh, who am I kidding? I'm no genius, but ELA was always my best subject XD Anyway, thanks for the reviews! You guys rock! I hope you like "Hanna" (who is actually an awesome girl, unlike her penname). ****Harry Potter, Hunger Games, and Seussical forever!**

**Quote of the Day**

**Skinny Friends: Yeah, I'm definitely fat, I need to lose wait-**

**Me: SHUT UP! YOU ARE NOT FAT! DON'T SAY THAT! IF YOU'RE FAT, THEN I'M -thinks for a second- FAT ALBERT!**

**Friends: -crack up-**

**Me: -grumbling- I knew I should've gone with "whale"…**


	5. People Who Can't Sing

**A/N WOO! TWO REVIEWS! You know, since I updated. Sorry for the inexcusable hyperness…yeahhh. Anyway, "Rebecca Black", I wanted to thank you for your amazing support and reviews, which I assume will be consistent. Then again, that may be from me telling you I've updated…Whatever. I also wanted to thank obsessiveHPotterfan for the kind review. I don't want to seem desperate for reviews, but most of you will know how nice it is to hear an opinion once in a while, no matter what it is. Well, that's my thanks. Take it away Sirius (from the books, everyone, from the books)!**

_*To Sirius* Wow, isn't it great we share a last name? Are you a good singer?_

Sirius: (listening to my mp3) Wha? What is this? Oh, my, AUGH! STOP TORTURING THAT POOR CAT! JUST STOP IT!

Me: -ripping out earphones- SIRIUS! Shush, it's ok, it's ok now, shush.

Sirius: What was that?

Me: That, my half-canine friend, was "Friday", by Rebecca Black, who also happens to be our reviewer and the asker of your question.

Sirius: o_O Oh. Err…this is awkward…

Rebecca Black: Oh, don't worry! I get it all the time!

Sirius: …All right…er. Well -coughs- Last name…well, as a matter of fact, I hate the name Black.

Rebecca Black: -crestfallen- Oh.

Sirius: Nothing against you, besides the fact that you seem to find joy in splitting people's ears open.

Rebecca Black: It's a hobby of mine.

Sirius: Riggghttt….Well, really, I just don't like my name because of my family. We were the last in a long pure-blood line, and perhaps the worst of them all. I hated the majority of my relatives, and I doubt they liked me very much.

Rebecca Black: I like you!

Me: Rebecca, sweetie, how many times do I have to tell you? YOU'RE NOT RELATED TO SIRIUS BLACK!

Rebecca Black: Oh, right. Sorry.

Sirius: -with a winning smile- I would have liked you in the family though. Just to disgrace my parents. A muggle Black! They might like you if they knew you tortured cats….could even pass 'em off as elves…

Me: She was singing, Sirius.

Sirius: But they don't know that.

Rebecca Black: Sometimes I don't even know!

Sirius: -chuckling- I'm sure.

Rebecca Black: No, really. I'm Sirius! HAHAHAHAHA! GET IT? I'm "Sirius"! XD

Sirius: Right. Because I haven't heard that one before. -shakes head- Anyway. Can I sing? No. I can't carry a tune for my life. Of course, there was that one "Quibbler" article… -chuckles again- But, no. I, however, don't go releasing a song that can possibly deafen people on-what did you call it?

Me: YouTube.

Sirius: Right. PoohTube. And still gets more views than practically anyone on YouPoob!

Me: No, it's…you know what? Never mind.

Rebecca Black: It's ok! Auto tuning, baby! It fixes everything.

Me: …No, it really doesn't…

Rebecca Black: But I'm better than Hanna Montana! Right? RIGHT?

Sirius: Well, I hear she has an annoying accent…

Rebecca Black: HA!

Me: But you've got that nasal thing.

Rebecca Black: It's called allergies. It's the season.

Sirius: Then maybe you should have thought of that before you tainted the history of music.

Rebecca Black: -grimaces- Well I suppose I'd be more insulted if it wasn't true.

Me: Yes. Yes it would. Anyway, does that answer your question Rebecca?

Rebecca Black: Yes, but I was insulted…

Sirius: You're insulted every day.

Me: Yes. We can't be held accountable for your problems. Thanks -insert name here- for Rebecca's question!

Sirius: But, I thought the cat-torturer submitted the question…?

Me: She did, thanks again violin buddy!

Sirius: BUT LITTLE MISS TONE-DEAF DOESN'T PLAY THE VIOLIN!

**A/N Opinions? No opinions? I prefer opinions. XD Anyway, Looking forward to the next update! Again, you guys are totally awesome! Harry Potter, Hunger Games, and Seussical forever!**

**Quote of the Day**

_**From Forest Gump (I LOVE that movie!)**_

_**Jenny: Why are you so good to me Forest?**_

_**Forest: You're my girl.**_

**Girls of my Social Studies Class: AWWWWWWWW!**

**Friend: Wait what happened?**

**Me: -explains-**

**Friend: AWWWW! -after receiving glares- Sorry.**


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